ПОМОГИТЕ ПОЖАЛУЙСТА Прочесть НА Британском НО РУССКИМИ БУКВАМИ Number One Historical

ПОМОГИТЕ ПОЖАЛУЙСТА Прочесть НА Британском НО РУССКИМИ Знаками
Number One Historical Spam Subject Line: URGENT VIRUS ALERT! Don't Open Your City Gates for Giant Wooden Horses!
CD player
I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So I called the sales clerk over and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"
He said, "It means that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal." "In other words," I said, ".."Exactly." Call Centre
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly...
Windows?
A woman called the Canon help desk about a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows".
The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point..."
Cat Technical Support
This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service centre. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next to the operator.
One day we got a service call with a panicky voice that said, "Cat caught in machine, come quick!"
When I arrived I saw everyone sitting around mending their various wounds and scratches. But no sight of the cat. It appears that while they were running the machine the cat was twirling his tail in his usual fashion and stuck it down into the printer at the most inopportune time and got sucked in!...