Сочинение по английскому языку "если бы я был обладателем ресторана, то

The restaurant of my dreams
I want to be greeted at the entrance to the restaurant by the same people, well-known to me, people. I do not want to see dishwriting waiters who do not understand what's on the menu.
I want a cook to come to me, delighted by my visit. Let him ask me about my state of health and talk about what he is rich today.
It would be even better that instead of silly waiting for the ordered dinner at the table I was given the opportunity to observe his work. I am so more interesting and I know for sure that in this case he will become an artist and do everything to be proud of the results of his work.
I want chefs to smoke nervously and refuse to work on the day when the buyer brought them the wrong chickens.
Yes, chickens. Well, what do I get grown on hormones for tasteless broilers, the same as in a nearby supermarket? Give me the chickens fed by soaked in milk grain, the ones that walked along the green grass and for the sake of fun, they took earthworms out of the earth. Here is a chicken with good roots, wrap it in muslin and boil it in boiling salted water, and bring it to me as is, without embellishment, I do not need any jewelry for this masterpiece, I know how to eat it without any sophisticated side dishes.
And pork. Find a farmer who fattens the pigs of the tyuris cooked on the back, the farmer who bathes the pigs and lets them run clean and pink. And if you do not have such a farmer in your acquaintances, then why should you try to feed me with imported rubbish? Do not you dare do this, my mother did not give birth to that.
Mutton. For heaven's sake, do not you dare to spoil it with your marinades! What is the unpleasant smell you are always trying to get off her ?! Give me lamb with a minimum of spices, just fry it, bake it, but do not get it from you, so cook me a good broth. Also it is not necessary to me to boil chunks of pulp, cook ribs, cook a brisket, shanks, and put out your neck. Of all the rest, you can make such wonderful cutlets! ..
Why buy fish, which three days ago, failed his eyes, and a week as she pulled out the gills? Do you want to save money? On whom, on me? Let me pay you, but let the fish be perfectly fresh, so that it smells like the sea, not the deli number eight. Do not do anything special with it, just fry it in good oil and pour lemon juice, or do it - bake it on the grill.
Yes! And prepare me food on fire and charcoal. Throw on them a sprig of fragrant herbs, so that the food smelled of life, not electricity. I want to hear the food continue to hiss and grumble when it's brought to my table, I want to see the rising smoke and steam, do not deprive me of smells, I beg you!
Once again, please remove from me your annoying waiters. I'm not disabled, I can pour a glass of vodka or a glass of wine when I need it. In general, I want to talk as little as possible with the waiter, I hate his Chaldean complaisance, I hate his hungry tipping eyes.
In general, explain to me why the cook is feeding me, and the waiter is waiting for the tip? Please, give me an opportunity to thank the cook, because he was the one who fed me. Yes, and talk with the cook, leave a wish for the future, I'm much more pleasant than to hear the standard formulas of courtesy of the person who is here today, and tomorrow there.
I do not want my dinner disturbed by acid music and tobacco smoke rising from the neighboring tables. How do you not understand that each dish has its own melody? If you do not understand this at all, then turn off this music completely and finally. And if suddenly a good taste awakens in you, then make the violin quartet arouse in me the desire to sing after dinner.
No, no, do not worry, I will not climb the stage and sing for all the guests of your restaurant. I just want me to leave the restaurant with music in my shower.