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Ater I'd heet When I ariued in England I hcur I realized that I did not understand one wrc. In the n u eaieaeworkigwould never t ta notody speaks Engis erisuly This i sad. My nly cosolator feing tliat nobody speaks Fuione tve hundred and another five thousurd and yet another fity thousand othe b ) as working knowledg: of the language and the ne ds an average Englishman uses Remember that those the bupdlad wor br fiom being the wholc ulary ot the language. You may lzam you msy come acros a frther fity thousand you have never heard of tefo If you live her long enough, yoa will fEnd out te your greatest amazemen nut the adjective nice is sot the only adjective tdhe language possesses, in soc of the fact that in the first three years you do not tced to learn or use un ther sdjgetives. Ynu can sav thal the weather is nice, the restaurant is nice Mr Soandio is nien, Mas Soandso's clothes are rice, you had a nice time, and and nobody eke either Then you hnve te decie on o acceni, You vill tave your foreign acent all nigh, but many people lice to mix it wth somethirg else. The casiest way to give the impresion cf having a good accent or no foreigr accent at al is to hold an unlit pipe in your mouth, to (mutter between your teeth and finish all your unteaces with the quetion "isn't 1? Pople will not understand much, but tiey are sccustoned to that and they will get a mest eacellent impression The most successful atenpts to put on a highly cultured air nave been mide on polysyllabic lincs. Many fu o have earnt Latin and Greek at schocl discover with amazeiment and satisfaction that the English langage hai abscebed s huge amoust of ancient Latin and Greek expressions, the realize (a) thur it is much easer to leary these expressions than the much sim- pler English words, (b) iha theie words as a ale are very long and make a imply superb impression when talking to the greengrocci, the porter and the Tmagine, for insance, thar the porter of thc block of flats where ynu liv remarks sharply that you must not put your dustbin out in front of your door before 7.30 am Should sou answer "Piease don't bully me", a loud and tire atgument may folow and certaialy the porter will be proved right. Should you aniwer, however with these words: "I repudiale your petulant expostula tion," the argument will will be proud of having such a highly cnltured man in the block, and fromi that day onwards you may lf rou please. get up at four o' dlock in the moning and hang yoar dusbinou of the winlow